When Life Runs Rife With Emotion
by m-is-for-MollyMansfieldMealing
Summary: Set after the scene where Lily phones her dad after finding out her fcem results. Is she really still as steely as she makes out to be? Or is there something she's not telling anyone? Except, maybe Connie?... One shot :D


**Hello lovely people!**

 **I haven't written a proper Lily fic in a while so I thought I would now! xD** **I'm also not used to writing her so reviews would be lovely! Should I maybe try another one-shot with her as the main character?**

 **I hope you enjoy it even if it's pretty rubbish and I'm sorry I've been so inactive recently- I've been given lots of extra shifts at work which is keeping me busy :) -Sophie x**

* * *

 _"_ _Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?"_

Yes, Lily thought, internally sighing as she strode past the radio on reception; yes, she did feel like a discarded plastic bag at that particular time. Deflated, tired and done with her responsibilities.

She had tried so hard to pass her fcem exams, studying until ungodly hours and even skipping meals to sit and revise. And it all paid off; in a way. Lily passed with flying colours, "the best any first time has ever received" to quote the exam organiser who phoned to congratulate her personally on her amazing results.

But this wasn't enough. No, the newly qualified registrar had phoned up her father on the biggest high she had ever experienced, only to be shot down in flames on his response.

"But dad I couldn't-" She kept trying to explain, but Dr Chao was having none of it.

"Lillian I have told you many times now, I'd have been prouder if you took the exam a year ago like I said to!"

"I couldn't!" The woman was nearing tears, half from frustration and from upset. "How many times do I have to repeat it?! There's a minimum age here in England, it's not like back home where you can take the exam at any time you like!"

"How dare you speak to me in that insolent tone of voice young lady. If your mother were here she would have a fit-"

"Well she isn't here is she." Lily snapped, at last unable to hold back her anger any longer. "She isn't here because she is dead and gone and there is nothing you can do about that so just accept it like I did already!"

The line went silent and the woman's stomach dropped.

"I'm sorry-"

"No." His voice was deeper, slower somehow. "No. We'll talk later when you've calmed down. Goodbye Lillian."

"Bye daddy." Her voice was barely audible as their connection went dead, and she placed her phone back into her handbag with a shaking hand before standing and walking out of the staffroom.

Her head was held high, her back as straight as a needle and her lips firm. But beneath that deceiving look, there hid a pair of trembling legs, two saddened eyes and one heart so low she feared she may never see it again.

…

By lunch Lily was no happier. She had tried and failed to put the conversation with her father out of her mind but to no avail; it continued to plague her thoughts and lower her spirits even more until she was no longer able to crack even a fake smile, and this didn't go unnoticed by Connie.

They worked on a resus case together that afternoon- a teenage boy involved in a drug-alcohol related car crash. Lily was furious and seized every opportunity to scold him about his actions.

"Can I use my phone now?" He groaned as Connie examined his leg. It had been crushed upon impact and was badly bruised.

"Why, so you can call your drug dealer?" The registrar muttered under her breath as she filled out his notes. Connie briefly looked up from the end of the bed, giving her colleague a warning look before going back to what she was doing. The bespectacled woman didn't even notice.

"I'm hungry." The boy continued to moan, and by now Lily was fed up of it.

"Got the munchies have we? Shouldn't have smoked what you did. Underage."

She added on the last snide comment, and it was at that point that Connie decided that she had had enough.

"Dr Chao my office please." She said sharply, snapping off her rubber gloves and throwing them in the bin on the way out, her heels clicking menacingly across the tiled floors.

…

"Your behaviour in resus was completely unacceptable, even towards a boy of his predicament!" The brunette shouted, hair bouncing rather intimidatingly over her shoulders as she glared at the registrar stood in front of her.

"I have a good right mind to give you an official warning young lady. You have no right to go about judging people based upon their actions, do you understand?"

Lily looked into the eyes of her boss; gaze so foreboding that she felt her legs begin to tremble again and her posture falter.

"I understand Mrs Beauchamp." Despite her best intentions and strongest of wills, her voice shook. Connie looked her up and down eyebrows creasing slightly.

"What's gotten into you Lily?" She asked, voice softer than a few moments ago. "Your bedside manner has always been a little rough but never like this."

Lily gulped slightly before looking to her feet.

"Nothing Mrs Beauchamp. It won't happen again."

Her boss just rolled her eyes and sat up straighter in her chair.

"Dr Chao you seem to forget I have a 7 year old daughter; I know when someone is lying to me. Tell me what's going on before all this gets out of hand please."

She wasn't sure what she preferred; scary Mrs Beauchamp or normal Mrs Beauchamp. Her emotions, exhausted from the day's events, decided they liked scary Mrs Beauchamp best and that they missed her, so the poor registrar promptly began to sob.

"Lily?" Connie breathed, mouth dropping slightly at the sight. She stood and went to place a hand on the shaking woman's arm. "Whatever's happened?"

Through the tears Lily looked into her boss' eyes, and for once found pure concern. This made her cry even more, startling Connie and making her jump.

"Sit down sweetheart." She whispered, gently prompting her to sit on the sofa next to the wall. There the two women sat as Lily poured out all her feelings from that day; elation at passing the exams, relief she wouldn't have to retake them, excitement to tell her dad, disappointment and anger at his response, fear that he would disown her, but lastly; grief.

"My mother always believed in me, right from the day I was born." She sobbed. "And right up until I started university, until the day she died. She was always on my side, someone to talk to and confide in and everything a mother should be. Since I lost her, my father has tried so hard to be her but it just doesn't work." She sighed, pushing her hair from her face.

"I miss my mother. And now Tess has gone, I don't even have her to be around." She stopped talking at this point, choosing instead to bury her head in her hands, hunched over as small as she could make herself.

Connie felt an overwhelming surge of pity for the poor woman; she had no idea things had been this tough for her.

"Lily, I want you to listen to me." She started quietly. The figure froze as if in answer to her statement.

"You've had a rough time and I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I want you to know I think you're really, really strong for getting through it the way you have. I'm… I'm really proud of you, and I know for certain your mother would be too. That she is, somewhere."

The sobbing eased and Lily looked up, her face red, eyes bloodshot and nose pink.

"Really?" Her voice was hoarse, and Connie couldn't help but smile as she nodded.

"Yes. You are a remarkable woman Dr Chao and I'm proud to call you a colleague. You're stronger than you think. Never forget that."

Unable to speak, the registrar simply blinked a few times before nodding and wiping her nose. She stood and picked up her glasses from the arm of the sofa.

"Thank you, Mrs Beauchamp."

She too stood, and gently rubbed the woman's arm as a goodbye.

...

Lily Chao finished her day not how she started it; like a plastic bag, but as a tiger, the lyrics of Katy Perry embracing her ears as she left through reception. She was ferocious, enchanting but overall; strong.

 _"_ _I've got the eye of the tiger… And you're gonna hear me roar."_


End file.
